Undying Love
by Tisha
Summary: Usagi is worried about Mamoru giving up his dreams for her. Takes place after the final battle with Galaxia.


Undying Love

By: Tisha

This story takes place shortly after the end of the series (Stars season).

•••••••••••••••••••

Hello. My name is Tsukino Usagi. I have lived through life and death. Experienced things most people couldn't imagine in a lifetime. I have felt love- real love, deep love- and experienced the pain of having it taken away. I have faced death, death that claimed people I loved very much and death that I, myself, inflicted upon others. My life over the past three years has been what seemed like a life-long war. Physically fighting almost every day and emotionally battling everything I held inside. I had to be a best friend to several who depended on me. I had to be a hero and a savior to an entire planet of people- and maybe more. I had to put myself last in order to give everything I had to my friends, my family, my one true love. All of this hardly seems imaginable to most. And yet it is the life I have lived. And I am 17 years old.

She read back over the paragraph and smiled to herself. Closing the small book she placed it under the many socks in her top drawer. Smiling at the secret place she had for it.

"That feels so much better," she said, telling her empty room, "Thank you Mamo-chan." He had handed her the small book the day before. It had been wrapped, topped with a bow, and handed to her with love.

"Put your feelings here. Only for you, Usako." He had told her as she had looked at the small diary, puzzled. Then it had hit her. A few days before that she had broken down, crying against Mamoru's chest, getting out all she had held inside for nearly a month. The gift seemed so special with the realization of where it came from.

Usagi now bit her lip, anticipation running through her at the thought of seeing Mamoru today. It was her birthday. Now seventeen years old. Mamoru had given her the gift the day before but he had promised that he had something special for her on the actual day of her birthday. She skipped over to the frame that held a special picture of them together. Slowing reaching behind it she came up with a ring. She placed the ring on her ring finger, the small pink heart that decorated it facing her, the exact way Mamoru had placed it there almost a year ago.

She had never quite thought of it as an engagement ring, just a promise ring. He had been promising to return to her and it was her way to remember him. She had stopped wearing it though. After a few months worth of un-returned letters she had placed it behind that frame, saving it. She had always been very careful to take it off around her family. She couldn't imagine what her father would have done if he'd have seen it. She suddenly wondered if Mamoru had noticed her empty finger over the last month. She hoped he hadn't to spare his own emotions.

•••••••••••••••••••

Usagi walked along the lake with Mamoru, hand in hand. They were both silent. Usagi watched as the ducks on the pond led their ducklings. She smiled as she thought about the peaceful state the earth had returned to. It had seemed a month ago that all might be lost in that battle. She could never have done it alone. She stopped suddenly, realizing that Mamoru had. He was facing her. She walked closer to him. "Mamo-chan?"

He took her other hand in his free one and looked down at them. He fingered the ring that was on her left ring finger and looked up at her. "Usako, you wore it..." He trailed off and Usagi swallowed the lump in her throat. She only nodded. "I was afraid that..." He took his eyes from hers and looked out to the lake, "That you had forgotten."

Usagi moved a step closer. "I love you Mamo-chan. I-I don't know why I took it off. I was scared you had forgotten me so I put it in a special place."

At her words his head had snapped back to her. "Forgotten you? How-"

Her confused look cut him off. "Well my letters were never answered and I just...I didn't know why." She averted her eyes by looking at the hands he still held.

"Usako." He whispered her name painfully. He had never before thought of what she must have thought for all that time. He had never known though that she figured him to be ignoring her.

"I mean- I know now that you were... you were... well, you know. It's just that over that time I wasn't sure." She looked into his sad eyes and smiled. "It doesn't matter now. You are alive and we are together, that's all that matters."

Mamoru lifted her left hand to his mouth and kissed the finger holding the ring. "You're right. We're together." He then dropped her right hand and cradled the left one in both of his. "Usako, I want this ring to be more."

Usagi's eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat as she watched as Mamoru actually knelt down. She bit her lip to keep from crying.

"Usako, I love you more than anything. There has always been something to keep us apart in the past, but I never want to be apart from you again. I want you to be my wife and my princess. My queen. Will you marry me?" He looked up at her.

Usagi sighed dreamily and pulled him up with the hand he still held. "Oh, Mamo-chan, of course I will."

He smiled as he took her in his arms and kissed her more passionately than he ever had before. His soul was exploding with happiness that his Usako would finally be his wife. Usagi broke away from the kiss with a nervous giggle. "What is it?" He asked her, a little worried.

"What will my father say?"

Mamoru's sudden look of fear made Usagi laugh. He was very protective of her and Mamoru had always feared the day they would have to break the news of their love to him. In truth, she was quite nervous about it too. But he would have to face the fact that she was growing up and would someday have to get married. And Usagi was very happy about who it was she was marrying.

•••••••••••••••••••

Minako screamed when she heard the news and Usagi had to cover her ears. "Gosh Minako-chan, watch it!"

"I'm so happy! Let me be your maid of honor!" As soon as Minako said it Usagi was surrounded by four girls, all yelling at the same time. Even Ami had something to say on the subject.

"Come on you guys," nothing happened, "SHUT-UP!" And they all did. Rei sniffed a little in anger. Usagi sighed. "I have NO idea how I'll decide this but please just don't ruin this for me." She tried a smile and the rest of them smiled back.

"You're right Usagi, I'm sorry." Ami said shyly and she was followed by apologies from the other three.

Rei watched her friend as she chatted on with wedding plans. Usagi had always loved Mamoru but somehow she now glowed with happiness, her smile never failing. Rei found herself feeling a little jealous as she watched. She mentally scolded herself for it. Usagi was her best friend; she deserved to be happy, and to have Rei be happy for her. But Rei had never been good at expressing her feelings. Even though she loved Usagi she sometimes wondered if the girl thought she hated her instead. Rei knew it was her own fault. She always argued with her and put her down, somehow she wasn't able to tell Usagi that she really cared about her. Rei found herself praying that Usagi knew it, since she feared she might never get the words out.

•••••••••••••••••••

Usagi ran downstairs when she heard her mom call for her. She sat in her usual chair and looked around the table. Her parents were both seated but Shingo wasn't there. "Shingo, get down here! I'm STARVING!"

He appeared in the room right then and sat down. "You're always starving." He rolled his eyes at her and helped himself to the chicken and potatoes on the table.

Usagi stuck her tongue at him and reached for the chicken plate, which Shingo had purposely set far away from her. She found she couldn't reach it so she stood a little a reached out with both hands. Suddenly a hand grabbed hers tightly and she heard her dad choke on his potatoes. Usagi looked up to see her mom staring at the ring on her finger. Her dad had seen what her mom was looking at. Usagi felt her face turn red as she sat back in her chair.

"Usagi," her mom said calmly, "you are wearing that ring on the wrong finger." Usagi opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by her dad.

"Where did you get that pumpkin?" He had obviously relaxed when he figured that it was on the wrong finger as his wife had pointed out, but he was still curious about the pink heart that was on his daughter's finger.

Shingo looked at her slyly. "You got that from Mamoru, huh?"

She could feel her dad's stare get hotter on her as her face became redder. She had planned to take off the ring until her and Mamoru could tell them together. She struggled for something to say. She looked at her mom and giggled a little, amazed when it didn't sound totally nervous. "Uh, that's right! Mom, could my fiancé come to dinner tomorrow night?"

"WHAT?" Her parents both yelled as they stood up. Usagi sighed and slumped back in her chair, realizing that it was going to be a long night, all the while resenting Shingo for his continuous laughter.

•••••••••••••••••••

When it was finally over it was a relief. Dinner had been put on hold as her parents took her into the family room to talk. Usagi had, as calmly as possible, explained that she loved Mamoru and they weren't rushing anything. She had said that this was what she wanted and how happy she was. It had taken a bit of time to convince her dad that he was not pressuring her and that she was not pregnant. Her mom had cried for most of the night, half happy for her, and half already missing her only daughter. As soon as they had resolved it, dinner had been forgotten and all went to bed.

Usagi woke up at one in the morning with a hungry stomach and crept downstairs to find something to eat. She opened the fridge and looked around.

"You really love this guy?" Usagi jumped a little at the voice. She turned around to find her dad sitting at the table.

"Daddy, you scared me." She said putting a hand over her chest. She sighed deeply and sat down across from him with the sandwich she had found. He was looking at her, still waiting for an answer. She took a bite and started with her mouth full, "Yes daddy, I really do."

He exhaled deeply. "You have been... so much happier lately. More Lively." Usagi smiled at the thought that he had noticed it.

"Dad, you couldn't have possibly thought I would stay at home forever."

"I know that honey, and I have always had trouble facing it. You're my little girl and I don't want to lose you." Usagi then noticed the single tear running down his cheek. She slid her chair out and sat at the one next to his. She set her hand on top of his.

"You're not going to lose me. I'll always be your daughter, and I'll always love you. Mamo-chan will take good care of me, I know he will." She kissed him on the cheek then as she stood up to go back to her room.

"I know you wouldn't lie to me, so this Mamoru guy must really be a great guy. I think I'll feel a little better when I can meet him and hear it from him."

Usagi nodded in understanding. "Tomorrow night." She whispered just loud enough for him to hear and she took her sandwich upstairs with her.

•••••••••••••••••••

Usagi knocked softly on the familiar door and it was answered a few minutes later by Mamoru, who smiled at her unexpected visit. "Usako. What are you doing here?"

She cocked her head. "Do I have to have a reason to visit my fiancé?"

He smiled and kissed her. Opening the door wider to invite her in. She accepted the unspoken invitation and went it, sitting down at the table in the kitchen. He followed her, sitting as close as possible. She smiled. "So, my parents are expecting you tonight." She tried to sound as innocent as possible. His eyes widened and she was hardly able to stop from laughing. "Don't worry Mamo-chan, all the hard stuff is over."

He looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Well I forgot to take the ring off before dinner last night-"

"Oh no." Mamoru cut her off with his worry.

"It's okay. It just took a while to convince them I am really in love. My dad actually thought I was pregnant." She blushed a little and they both laughed before she turned completely serious again. "When I got up for a snack he was in the kitchen, he was just sitting there."

Mamoru listened as she stared off in space.

"He said he noticed I had been happy lately and that he knows you're a good guy because I wouldn't lie to him. He actually cried, Mamo-chan. He thinks he's losing me."

Mamoru's heart clenched at the glazed look in Usagi's eyes and he took her hand. She turned her eyes to him and he saw their wetness. He couldn't think of anything to say so he wrapped her in his arms instead. She didn't cry like he had expected though, instead she just sighed and changed the subject. He released her as they sat and chatted.

A piece of paper caught Usagi's eye on the table and she picked it up. It was an envelope addressed to Mamoru, still un-opened. "What's this?"

Mamoru looked like he hadn't wanted her to see it. "Oh, it's nothing." Usagi didn't want to press him about it but something in his voice made her worry.

"What do you mean? Why haven't you opened this letter?"

"Because it's not important."

Usagi looked down at the letter. The return address was from Africa. "Africa? How do you know it's not important if you haven't opened it?" Usagi's voice had gotten soft with pure concern.

Mamoru sighed, seemingly realizing she wasn't going to give up. "I had applied a few years ago to go on a medical research trip in Africa. It doesn't matter anymore because I don't want to go. That's the letter that tells if I made it or not."

Usagi swallowed hard. She didn't want to be nosy, or a pest, but she couldn't help herself. She flipped the envelope over and carefully tore it opened with her fingernail. She never once dared to look up at Mamoru as she pulled out the folded piece of paper and read it. Mister Chiba, We are pleased to inform you... Usagi didn't read any further. She swallowed back the tears that she didn't want Mamoru to see as she stood up, dropping the letter back on the envelope. All the while she didn't look him in the eye once.

"Usako?"

"I have to go. Be at my house at seven tonight." She walked to the door and left. Mamoru's heart ached at the way she had acted. He wasn't sure what was wrong, or what about the letter had made her act that way. Finally swallowing his own pride he picked up the letter she had dropped.

•••••••••••••••••••

Mamoru was a bit late by the time he rang the doorbell. Usagi, who apparently had been waiting just inside, opened the door a second later. She snuck a quick kiss and then looked around to make sure nobody had seen. The kiss washed Mamoru with relief. She wasn't acting the way she had been earlier and he hoped it hadn't meant anything. His hand was grabbed my Usagi's as she pulled him into the dining room where he saw her parents and little brother, all looking at him.

He tried to smile as he choked out a nervous "Hi." Usagi's mom rushed over and sat him down, explaining that she had made meatloaf and hoping that he liked meatloaf. He quickly assured her he did as he turned to Usagi's dad and shook his hand. Usagi sat down next to him and her small hand fished under the table for his. When she had found it she squeezed it. He smiled at her, relaxing a little bit.

Usagi's dad had not missed the exchange and couldn't help but notice the mutual love in their eyes. "So, Mamoru, I hear you want to be a doctor."

Mamoru settled a little, noticing that Usagi's dad was not ready to spit nails as he had expected. "Yes, I'm in my last year of medical school." He only nodded in response and he continued to eat. Mamoru looked to Usagi, relieved that everything seemed normal. Usagi's warm smile melted any nervousness that was left in Mamoru and he spent the rest of the night talking with Usagi's parents like they were old friends.

After dinner, Mamoru had asked permission to take Usagi on a walk and her mother had assured him it was fine. Usagi got on her coat and happily followed him out the door. The second it closed behind them Mamoru reached for her hand.

"Your parents aren't so bad. I found them very nice." Usagi looked up at him lovingly and smiled. She didn't say anything though, and they were silent for the rest of the walk. Mamoru glanced at her often, concerned about her silence. She has still smiling and holding his hand, but he had a strange feeling that something was out of place.

Mamoru realized this was not the time to say anything so he kept quiet as they headed back to her house. Once back, the four of them had some coffee and talked a little. When Mamoru left, everyone felt better about the whole thing. But Usagi's father couldn't miss her lonely sounding sigh as she climbed the stairs for bed.

•••••••••••••••••••

Rei swept away some dirt from under the table and glanced back at Usagi. The other girls were all chatting about clothes, shopping, food, and Usagi's wedding, but Usagi sat silently watching the crows at the shrine fly around. None of the others seemed to notice, but Rei did. She swallowed hard, trying to get her voice to sound nicer. "What's wrong, Usagi?"

Usagi turned around and Rei saw the look in her eyes. They looked so sad that Rei began to worry. "Rei-chan, you want to be a priestess, right?"

Rei's face wrinkled at the sudden question but she answered honestly. "Yes."

"What if you fell in love? If there was a man you wanted to marry. Would you give it up in order to be with him?"

Rei thought about it for a second. "I don't know. I guess I'd have to see when and if it happened. I've never exactly been in love, so I honestly don't know." Rei wondered how this question could relate to Usagi in any way, but came up with nothing. It wasn't like Usagi to be this quiet. And she had been so happy about her engagement the other day. Usagi had looked away again, but Rei didn't want to drop the subject. "Why do you ask?"

Usagi looked back at Rei. The other three girls were now focusing on the conversation as well. "Well, it's just that Mamoru had this letter."

Minako looked confused. "A letter?"

"From some thing he applied to. He hadn't even opened it, so I did. He was accepted. But the reason he hadn't opened it was because he didn't want to go, even if he made it."

Minako was still confused. "So?" Makoto jabbed her elbow into Minako's ribs at the rudeness of her question.

Usagi looked at her. "Don't you see? He applied to this thing. He wants to go. He hadn't opened it because of me." Silent tears spilled down her face. Rei wanted to hug her, and be a best friend to her, but she couldn't make herself. Minako hugged her instead.

•••••••••••••••••••

Mamoru opened the door. His eyes lit up at the sight of Usagi. Stepping back to let her in he noticed the sad look in her eyes. He was really starting to worry about her. She walked over to the living room, but didn't sit down. Instead she stood there and turned to him. She smiled, but it wasn't the same smile he loved.

Mamoru decided to act happy and maybe she'd cheer up. "Guess what? I thought of a great day for our wedding." He watched her carefully, her eyes flashed a little. She didn't say anything, so he went on. "February 14. It'll be very romantic!"

"No." She had said it flatly and still stood looking at him.

"Uh... Okay, it doesn't have to be then. How about May?"

Usagi sighed. "No." She stressed the word a little more this time.

"Okay, how about-"

"NO, Mamoru!" She cut him off loudly and he winced as she called him by his real name, rather than her nickname for him.

"Usako?" He steeped closer to her, grasping for a reason.

"We're not getting married." Her eyes dropped to the floor and her voice went back to a normal level. "At least not right now. We should...do things that we've wanted to for a while. Wait until I'm older."

"But Usako, we want to be together."

She looked at him pleadingly. "We can be together. But we can't give up our dreams for each other. Not yet at least."

Mamoru stared at her. He had thought she wanted to get married more than he did. She had been so excited. He had gone to meet her parents and everything. Was that it? Had her parents said something? What dream was she talking about? Usagi always said her dream was to be with him.

"Usako, what are you talking about? Why?"

"Mamo-chan... This is just best." A tear slipped from her eye and she went on her tiptoes, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. She sniffled a little and left.

Mamoru tried to pry at the back of his brain to understand where this had come from. He didn't even understand what she was saying. He signed and sat down on his sofa, thinking about the one person he loved so much.

•••••••••••••••••••

Usagi's mom turned to the door when she heard it open and saw Usagi. "Oh, Usagi, I wanted to talk to you. Come in here!"

Usagi stood in the doorway looking down. "I don't feel like talking now."

Her mom stepped closer and noticed the tracks of tears that had recently dried. "What's wrong, honey?"

Usagi looked at her. "Mom, do you think I'm too young to get married?"

"Well, you are young, but you are in love and I guess that's what counts."

Usagi sighed and sat down. "I am so ready to be married. But I don't want Mamo-chan putting his dreams aside because of me."

"What do you mean? He can still attend Medical School when you're married."

"But that's not all he wants. I know he wanted to go to Africa."

Her mom now sat across from her. She was completely confused by the conversation, but tried to be supportive. "Africa?"

"Yeah, he was supposed to go for research or something."

Her mom smiled at her. "Honey, he loves you. We can all see that. How do you even know that he wants to go?"

"You don't get it, mom. His dream is stuff like this, I'm sure it would be really great for him, even if he doesn't think he wants to go. I told him we should put the wedding off."

"Usagi, did you tell him that you think he should go to Africa?"

"No, because he wouldn't if he knew that was why."

Usagi's mom laughed a little. "What makes you think that putting off the wedding is going to make him go? I have a feeling instead he'll quit school altogether in order to get you back."

Usagi stared at her mom. "You really think he wouldn't go? I... I thought he would for sure if I wasn't tying him here anymore."

"I believe that now he has something more important to him than Africa. And even if you don't agree you need to talk with him about it. Maybe he has some other reason you don't know about."

Usagi bit her lip, feeling stupid for thinking the way she had. She knew her mom was right. She should find Mamoru and talk to him. She smiled at her mom and headed for the door once again.

•••••••••••••••••••

Usagi made her way slowly to Mamoru's apartment. She tried to think of what she should say, but she just felt embarrassed for all of the conclusions she had jumped to. She was so caught up in her thinking she wasn't watching where she was going and ran straight into something.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She was startled by the sudden collision and she backed away from whomever she had hit. She finally looked up at their face and gasped. "Mamo-chan!"

Mamoru took her hand and led her to a nearby park bench. They sat down next to each other. "Usako, I just came from Rei's."

Usagi looked at him and he continued. "I was looking for you, but she told me why you acted that way."

"She...did?"

"She said that you want me to go to Africa. That you think it's important to me and I gave it up for you." He watched Usagi's face and he knew from her look that it was true. He sighed. "Usako, maybe I should have explained better."

Usagi was confused so she turned on the bench to see him better and waited.

"I did apply for that thing. About three years ago. I thought maybe it could help me get into a good school. But then I got into the school in America and that was a good opportunity. You were so...great and brave when I left. And you know, it was just school. It doesn't matter. Obviously I wish I hadn't left then either. I am so happy to go to school here and be with you."

"But...Mamo-chan..." She bit her lip, wondering if he was telling the truth. "We can be together forever. School is important."

Mamoru smiled at her and put his arm around her. "Not as important as you. I'm still going to be a doctor. I'm still with you. I'd rather be with you and have no job than live out my dream of being a doctor alone. But even if I stay here, I still get both. Don't you see that you are what I want most?"

Usagi sighed and nodded. She now did believe that he didn't care about Africa. "I love you, Mamo-chan."

He pulled her closer and kissed her cheek. "I love you too."

•••••••••••••••••••

Usagi came into the kitchen where she found her mom. She gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and stole a cookie from the tray she was preparing. Her mom turned to her and smiled. "Well, you're happy. What happened?"

Usagi sighed. "You were right. I was jumping to conclusions." She smiled at her mom. "We're still getting married."

She smiled with love at her daughter, happy to see her in such a good mood. "That's good. You know I'm going to miss you around here." She seemed to think for a few minutes and then gave Usagi a coy smile. "Are you going to be giving me any grandkids?"

Usagi smiled as she thought about the question. "Um...yeah. I think you can pretty much count on it." She tried not to laugh as she gave her mom one more hug and headed upstairs, dreaming about her future.

The End


End file.
